goddamn it! i'm so fucking sick and tired of forgetting shit! i take part of the blame, but the rest goes to oxy-fucking-contin. OxyContin: the secret scurge of american medicine. it seriously messed me up. and now i'm on Gabapentin, which also affects concentration and causes memory 'blanks'. it seems i can't win. yet.
what started this tirade? i don't remember how to type certain characters used in foreign language. i used to know this shit like the back of my hand. i used to create actual fonts for chris' sake. but i've been finding, ironically, that in the last few years, because of the drugs, a lot of what happened in my life is either a haze or completely gone. i co-host 2 podcasts right now, and when it's time for me to say something, i 'gap out'. it's almost like a hiccup. i open my mouth and nothing happens. and when i DO start speaking, i hesitate in nearly every sentence. my brain shifts into neutral and sticks there. and new clutches are expensive.
i feel a little better now. i focused my rage into typing, and it worked. huh. neat.
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